Putting Maddox to sleep on his own...DAY 4!

I've read the books, looked on the Internet, even talked to other moms. Nothing has prepared me for what we were in for these past few nights. Maddox is finally sleeping in his own bed. This may seem like such a small hurdle, and yes...if we had started him earlier sleeping in his own bed this would have never happened but the nights where we would all be cuddled up in our full size bed would be so comfortably warm. That is until we found a finger up our noses at 5am, or he would be completely turned around facing the edge of the bed, we would be in these puzzle like positions in the morning just trying to fit somewhere in the bed. It just wasn't working but more than that he couldn't put himself to sleep without one of us holding him and to no surprise this came to lead to many nights where we would be off to sleep at his bed time 8pm and miss out on catching up on dishes and laundry. We made it through and loved the time with Maddox but the time was here as soon as summer rolled around. We had more time to spend with Maddox and to really get him on a firm routine. Ha! The idea of a routine is funny to people who have so much going on they are just trying to fit everyting in to a day...but we HAD to create a sense of routine in our family for Maddox but most of all we needed it for ourselves. The first night we actually did great. I thought I was going to run in there, this theory was supported on a previous attempt which had failed miserabley, but I just listened. A half hour passed and the crying turned in to these cute little sobs and Maddox was off in his dreams. He proceeded to wake up at 11pm crying putting him back to sleep, then at 2am, then 5am, then of course his normal time at around 7am. What a night that was...just hoping that he was just crying it out. What if he is sick?? It could be his teeth! I could just run in there for a second...but we stayed strong and stuck it out. The second night Maddox fell asleep in 10 mintues...not to bad and he only woke up at 2pm...and it's hard for me to tell you how long. I was half way in between sleep and being awake. Knowing that this was part of the process. The third night fell...yes the third night was the hardest...not for him but for me. I just missed sleeping with him. The bed felt different, there were no legs over me, no finger in my nose and ear, no baby cuddles....I have to admit and I don't know how I SHOULD feel about this although I knew how I WAS feeling. I missed my little Maddox at night...I hate to hear him cry and love when I know that he is safe. I'm doing the right thing I kept telling myself that third night when 2am rolled around and Maddox struck again. This time with screams that made my brain go in to automatic flight mode....go to Maddox and make sure he's okay. Logic was yelling back that I had to let him fight through this. He'll thank you one day....he's better off learning to put himself to sleep in his own bed. It's the first step of many towards independence. I leaned over and shook Randy..."Do you hear that??", I asked nervously. "Do you think he's okay?" "Yeah he's fine. Leave him in the bed.", Randy's sleepy voice mumbled next to me. Well courage I had but by the 3rd day I was exausted and my reseilence to my son's crying was wearing thin. Tonight is the 4th day....I am sure Maddox was worn out by spending the Day with Tee and Tyler and going to the Summer Solstice with Grandma La and I. We brought him back, changed his diaper and gave him some milk and within 10 minutes we have a sleeping baby in his own crib....for now.