In memory of the GREAT Uncle Josh

Admiration is a word that I'll use to sum up for how I felt towards my Uncle Josh. He was always just so cool and growing up he was larger than life to me. He lived in the most beautiful places, had the coolest friends, and always was himself. I can remember feeling like I needed to be one of the adults because I just wanted to hang out with someone as cool as Uncle Josh but I was never quite there until a few years ago. It's funny because I remember moving out to California and I knew he had a roomate...but it didn't dawn on me until maybe a few years later that they were dating. It was actually a wonderful learning experience for me to be exposed to that because it helped me to form opinions I carry with me through life. He was outspoken, funny, and a FABULOUS cook. I mean I can remember back to when I was a little girl eating his Thanksgiving meals...I would look forward to eating his food all year and when Thanksgiving came it was a feast. Dishes everywhere with only the best of the best foods placed just perfectly on the table. I can only hope that we will be able to try to match his Thanksgiving dinner to honor him and show how much we love him.

I remember the last time I saw him this summer and brought Maddox with me to New York. He & Maddox and really lit up when they were around each other. He was so proud that he and Grandma Judy were "GREAT" Uncle's and Grandma's and we would tease each other about that often.

That was one thing about Uncle Josh...he loved Grandma Judy SO much. They had such a special relationship and really gave each other a lot of support. Grandma was such a caring and open mother to him...they really had such a wonderful bond together. I love that in their relationship hope I can have a bond with Maddox like they had.

He had so many really good friends and family who really cared for him. It just shows how much people really loved him. It's a really special thing to have him as my uncle.

May he always have a window view of the world...

Donations in his memory may be made to the Long Island Association for AIDS Care

Childress Winery Trip

Maddox had a great opportunity to spend a week with Tee & Papa at Carolina Beach here in North Carolina! Randy and I went down as we could between our work schedules but it was a beautiful home. They really did good! We also got to see Jennifer, Joe, Papa & DeeDee there too from Tenn. which was a great time. They looked great and it's always so nice to see family that you haven't seen in a while. We love you guys! Thanks for the wonderful time.

GrandmaLa & Maddox enjoying a relaxing summer day together...

There is a quote that says you can't move forward until you know your past. As some of you may know my wonderful mom has been staying with us this summer. It has given us a wonderful opportunity to really connect, develop a stronger relationship, and to really understand each other at our points in our lives. I think we have both grown from these moments that we have shared together. We have laughed together, cried in movies together, shared huge hugs together, and most of all enjoyed spending time with Maddox.
Our lives are amazing in so many ways because of Maddox and one of many ways he has brought joy in our lives is by bringing so many of us together. GrandmaLa (Mom) has really enjoyed spending every hour by bonding, playing, and communicating with her grandson. He grows more and more each day with each sign he learns watching us use sign language everyday. As much as Mom loves spending time here with us we love it even more. She brightens up our home and makes it feel so inviting just like a ray of sunshine. It's been a great time for all of us to get to know one another...renew our relationships....and look to the future for many wonderful years ahead. Here are three pictures of GrandmaLa (Mom) and Maddox today...

Ocracoke Island Trip-Our Romantic Weekend Getaway

We needed some time to ourselves..don't get me wrong. We love our friends and family and spending time with everyone but we haven't had an opportunity to spend some time with eachother in a while. We decided to take our first camping trip together in Dr. Beach's #1 beach in the United States...Ocracoke Island on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Our trip started at 1:30am on Saturday morning. We were both stumbling over our bags, clothes, etc. to try and get out the door. Grandma La (Mom) met us at the door to say goodbye and we were on our way. A 4 hour drive and then another 3 hour ferry ride finally put us on the island. I can't believe we actually made it but we did sleep on the ferry ride over so that helped out...I think. I was still a bit groggy when we stepped off and made it over to the camp ground. We got such a great camp site. They had a system that was first come first serve and we had driven around twice wanting to find a spot by the beach. Of course there was none avaliable so we settled for D36. The very last one across from the beach side and with a beautiful view of the trash can. The thing we didn't know was that there was a private trail to get to the top of the sand dune and a cleared out spot for a tent. That's right, our own private spot overlooking the campground...we loved it. Now here comes the setting up the tent part...yes I know what you are thinking. Novice campers...it took hours to set up the tent. It took 20 minutes, that's right. We were really supprised too...and after that we got some lunch, filled up our cooler with water and beer and started on our vacation. There were many walks on the beach, a relaxing rainy night, and a day for exploring the island on Sunday. We walked the nature trail, stopped by the speciality stores,Blackbeards Museum since Ocracoke island is where he was laid to rest, and walked along the beach some more. There were times we were the only people on the beach and there are no houses built on the beach, just a beautiful ocean view as far as your eye can see. Randy and I had some great time to talk, enjoy our company, and focus on our relationship. Maddox was the topic of many of our converstations naturally and we really were glad to see him when we got back but I think more than ever we realize that we really need to take some time out for ourselves so we can give more of ourselves to Maddox. When we came home Maddox was just wanting to cuddle with us all day on Monday...as if he was letting us know how much he missed us. We were more than happy to cuddle back, we missed him too. It was a great weekend, we are planning another weekend camping trip in August. This time in the mountains....until our next adventure....

Weekend with Mimi, Papa Ran, & Todd

What a weekend for Maddox!! He got to spend some time with family and take a dip in the pool, go to the park, and just enjoy his time with the family! We are so glad to have such wonderful family that will watch Maddox (and I am sure enjoy the time with him) so we can enjoy some time with each other. We really needed it! :) Apparently he had a great time because the next day Maddox and I took a 3 hour nap together during the middle of the day! SMILE.

Summer Solstice Festival at a park right down the street from us

Putting Maddox to sleep on his own...DAY 4!

I've read the books, looked on the Internet, even talked to other moms. Nothing has prepared me for what we were in for these past few nights. Maddox is finally sleeping in his own bed. This may seem like such a small hurdle, and yes...if we had started him earlier sleeping in his own bed this would have never happened but the nights where we would all be cuddled up in our full size bed would be so comfortably warm. That is until we found a finger up our noses at 5am, or he would be completely turned around facing the edge of the bed, we would be in these puzzle like positions in the morning just trying to fit somewhere in the bed. It just wasn't working but more than that he couldn't put himself to sleep without one of us holding him and to no surprise this came to lead to many nights where we would be off to sleep at his bed time 8pm and miss out on catching up on dishes and laundry. We made it through and loved the time with Maddox but the time was here as soon as summer rolled around. We had more time to spend with Maddox and to really get him on a firm routine. Ha! The idea of a routine is funny to people who have so much going on they are just trying to fit everyting in to a day...but we HAD to create a sense of routine in our family for Maddox but most of all we needed it for ourselves. The first night we actually did great. I thought I was going to run in there, this theory was supported on a previous attempt which had failed miserabley, but I just listened. A half hour passed and the crying turned in to these cute little sobs and Maddox was off in his dreams. He proceeded to wake up at 11pm crying putting him back to sleep, then at 2am, then 5am, then of course his normal time at around 7am. What a night that was...just hoping that he was just crying it out. What if he is sick?? It could be his teeth! I could just run in there for a second...but we stayed strong and stuck it out. The second night Maddox fell asleep in 10 mintues...not to bad and he only woke up at 2pm...and it's hard for me to tell you how long. I was half way in between sleep and being awake. Knowing that this was part of the process. The third night fell...yes the third night was the hardest...not for him but for me. I just missed sleeping with him. The bed felt different, there were no legs over me, no finger in my nose and ear, no baby cuddles....I have to admit and I don't know how I SHOULD feel about this although I knew how I WAS feeling. I missed my little Maddox at night...I hate to hear him cry and love when I know that he is safe. I'm doing the right thing I kept telling myself that third night when 2am rolled around and Maddox struck again. This time with screams that made my brain go in to automatic flight mode....go to Maddox and make sure he's okay. Logic was yelling back that I had to let him fight through this. He'll thank you one day....he's better off learning to put himself to sleep in his own bed. It's the first step of many towards independence. I leaned over and shook Randy..."Do you hear that??", I asked nervously. "Do you think he's okay?" "Yeah he's fine. Leave him in the bed.", Randy's sleepy voice mumbled next to me. Well courage I had but by the 3rd day I was exausted and my reseilence to my son's crying was wearing thin. Tonight is the 4th day....I am sure Maddox was worn out by spending the Day with Tee and Tyler and going to the Summer Solstice with Grandma La and I. We brought him back, changed his diaper and gave him some milk and within 10 minutes we have a sleeping baby in his own crib....for now.

First Day of Summer with Tee & Tyler

Maddox enjoyed a wonderful day with Grandma Tee and his cousin Tyler! It was a beautiful first day of summer and he got to enjoy it with family! Here are some pictures of them outside playing and out to dinner.

Happy Fathers Day!!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!! To all the wonderful fathers in our lives! We love you!

Maddox Loves Lemons!

Hiking in Chimney Rock

We had a blast in Chimney Rock...4 hours of hiking with Mom & Wes. Maddox loved every minute of it! He got to play in the waterfall half-way on the hike and just look around on the hiking backpack and he just sat there looking around, sometimes we would get the occassional "OHHHH" from him. They filmed the movie "The Last of the Mohicans" there. It was really breathtaking and challenging having a baby on your back during the hike. We went last Saturday when Randy was out with his Dad and 2 step brothers Mark & Todd to a Atlanta Braves baseball game! He came home with no voice...that has to show what a great time they had together.

White River Rafting on the Nolichucky River!!!

We are so lucky to have opporutnities such as these in Maddox's first year. Randy's mom "Tee" watched Maddox overnight on the 25th of May so we could drive up to the Nolichucky River in Tennessee and go White Water Rafting....that was the plan at least. We are driving all through these winding back roads of the mountains....our stomachs growling which seemed to progressively grow louder with each turn of the road that reveled no restaurant in sight for the next hour or so. We left after work and were still on the road by 9pm....but then luck was on our side....a small town....one Hardies....with eyes bigger than our stomachs we ordered meals big enough for a family of four. Two burgers for the each of us, 3 french fries, we were almost at our hotel and our stomachs were ready to dig in. Unfortunatly for us that grease didn't seem to agree with out stomachs too much and we ended up spending some time in the bathroom that night but as the morning light started to come in to our rooms we were ready to go. Our anticipation had gotten the best of us and although we had to meet the bus at 9am we were up getting our coffee at 7am....taking turns getting coffee, talking about how excited we were, and just watching the clock until it was time to go.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting we got in our car and drove over to the bus pick up site. There were a group of what seemed like young college kids all huddled around and some women that were in their late thirties. It looked like a good group, we tried to blend in and not seem like we were these excited newcommers to rafting so we lathered our lotion on and like experienced rafters we climed on the bus. About 20 minutes our guide was giving us a whole book of what to do in case you end up in the water, saftey tips, etc. Not a big deal to us...we listened and enjoyed the beautiful scenery around the mountains. We arrived to a dirt lot right next to the river with a comotion of many other river rafting company buses and people scattering all around. We decided to take a funyak which is a one person raft sort of like a kyack. It was strange...many people decided not to take that choice and stayed on the raft...but we were told it was going to be the best way to see the river and really fun too!

In the water we started out really well...following our guide and trying to make it over the rocks and rapids by ourselves. I don't know who was the first person to go in the water, Randy or I...but out of our group of 6 funyaks we were the ones most in the water! By the halfway point where we stopped and got our lunches Randy and I were exausted but felt so refreshed. We were in the middle of a canyon with trees all around us...beautiful fresh air....and a feeling of accomplishment. We felt this feeling for a while before the realization of the fact we had to finish our rafting trip. We got our gear back on...and went back in the water. After a big battle with the river Randy decided to switch with one person in a raft who really was wanting to jump in a funyak and he finished the river out on there. The weather started to change and the last stretch of the river ended with a light rain that was progressively getting wetter. By the time we arrived at the buses the sky decided to downpour and we were running to take cover and change our clothes in to some dry ones along with the rest of our group who were all scattering every which way to get some kind of cover. The group back in the bus were all talking about the great time we had, it was like we shared some kind of bond together. We had made it through the river as a group and shared this wonderful adventure together.

We got back in our car...It was a challenge, we had done something we had never done before and made it through. I was so proud of the both of us and know that over the summer we will be planning more trips like this. It makes me want to challenge myself and my family to new adventures, see the world, and live life to the fullest.

Maddox's 1st Birthday

Maddox is ONE...he's walking....talking...signing...giving kisses....the big ONE! I can't believe it...it was just yesterday he was in my belly kicking me in my ribs. Now he's so real and such a great part of our family. Randy and I are both so in love with our son...he brings such a happy feeling in our lives. Everytime he gives us kisses, to the books he reads, to the way he loves to point at nature, to just the new words he is learning and signing. He is something so special...

Many of you might not know how many parties Maddox had...but of course Randy and I were reaching heavily for the coffee by the time the weekend was through. He had one on Saturday, Sunday, and of course on his actual Birthday June 5th at Chuck E'Cheese! Although his mom and dad were on the verge of getting a coffee IV put in Maddox was enjoying every minute of his party...seeing all the familar faces, enjoying the ballons, and really learning from the joyful environment around him. We tried to show him the things in the time capsule...we really did. He loves the taste of coins we found out and seems to think pictures look better crumpled up than in the original state. (ha-ha) The Time Capsule has been retired to our basement (with a few more future additions we are waiting for) but after that....it will be taped, padlocked, and placed in a frozen cryogenic state for the next 25 years....

I remember the day we had him and knowing that it was something so new in our lives and wondering how we can go from just being us to now being three. Even more so being responsible for another human being in every aspect. We would be a mom and dad...it's not just us any more. It was awkward at first there is no doubt about it...all the changing diapers, breastfeeding, baby crying in the middle of the night took some getting used to. We are developing that bond everyday, a relationship, a sence of security and safety where Maddox feels it's okay to learn and make mistakes and grow. The funny thing is Randy and I have grown as well...in ourselves and in our relationship. We really have a stronger bond now because we both have the same vision for our lives, our son, and our family. Why didn't any of you tell me sooner how amazing this feeling is to have your own child?? I guess I wouldn't have been ready any other time but now! :) Things always work out the way they are supposed to.

We really are one lucky family. We all have such great people to learn from, talk to, and really love. It's so obvious from something like this that we have something so special in our family and I am grateful that Maddox has all of YOU to grow up with! I hope you enjoy the pictures of his party! Thanks to all the special people that came to the party! You guys are WONDERFUL!! For those of you who couldn't make it because we have family as far as California we are glad you could ALL still be a part of the celebration and know when Maddox opens the time Capsule you will all be a part of his memories!

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY MADDOX!!