Remembering Josh

I can't help thinking that Josh was just with us a few years ago, and now, on his 53rd birthday his memory is with me stronger than ever. I wonder what he is doing now. I imagine him on the beach, any beach really, just taking in the beauty and rating the brilliance of the sunsets. Or I can see him with a fantastically delicious dinner right out of Bon Appetit magazine cooking in the kitchen and all of his friends and family around him smiling and laughing. Maddox was with him that year he died and was just over a year old when it happened September 2, 2007.and we tell him stories about Uncle Josh all the time. He knows all about him, and when he asks questions I feel like he is living on. When Micah gets older we will be sure to reminisce over the person Josh was and show him the pictures and tell him the stories of all the beautiful places Josh lived.

My colleague and friend Cath was just talking about a class she took that was all about Rumi. This lead me to some Google exploring and I just came across this saying that is on Rumi's tombstone; "When we are dead, seek not our tomb in the earth, but find it in the hearts of men." -Rumi This is exactly where I think Josh lives on, in our hearts.

Overwhelmed

I know this is not the correct place to have my diary but I have an immense feeling that I am doing too much and not dedicating enough time to the people who mean the most to me in my life. Not so say that I don't enjoy every single thing that I am doing, but it seems that when I have a free moment to really spend time with family I always have something else that comes up that takes precedence. What I need to do is to prioritize everything that know that I can take some time out for 'me'. I'm sure this happens to so many people, we feel like we can do it all and in reality there are just not enough hours in the day. Something has to give. Lately it's been my family.. That is the last sacrifice I want to make. The question is what do I need to change, how do I balance everything so I can do everything that makes me happy? That's the million dollar question isn't it...

Only comes once..

It's been a while since my last post and I'm exhausted so this will be a short blog. Everyone is out of the house with the exception of a sleeping baby and my dog, whom are both enjoying the evening in a very productive way which is catching up on sleep. I on the other hand am working on attempting to clear off my desk, which started out with about 7 stacks of things to get done, and now I have cleared it down to one. What an accomplishment. Things have been so overwhelming since Micah came to the world. I feel pulled so many directions because I am fighting what I am naturally supposed to do which is to just let go and relax with my family, spend time with my new baby, and take this amazing experience in. Every day I see his face and know that every minute he is changing and growing. His toothless smiles will soon disappear and in it's place will grow some teeth, every day changing. I look at Maddox and he is nothing like the baby he was, arguably much better now that he can get dressed on his own and maintain his independence rather well, but it is the experience of having that baby that I don't want to let slip away. Time really does pass before our eyes, in a good way. Life goes on and so do we, but being present in this experience that we go through is key. Just have to keep reminding myself of that... Will write soon.

Snow Tomorrow

ALL RIGHT!! We are supposed to get some snow in North Carolina. I guess we will have to see it to believe it but it should be coming tomorrow.

So today was such a relaxing day with rain all day. We just sat around the house and just spent time with each other and read some books. This morning Randy and Maddox went out to Bounce-U and then Randy made another trip to the bookstore and to get coffee. MMM MMM He knows what I love...

We are going to start working on a web site but still trying to figure out the basics on our Mac program Go Live...it will be a good project for us to start doing together.

Other than that--there is not much new news. :)

The world as it is now..

The world turns, isn't that the name of a soap opera on TV right? Well I feel that is our lives now too. We are all trying to keep up and gettting all this new information from the media sources--we are a world that depends on the connection. We depend on each other, but how deep are our connections? What about that time where we can reflect, try to understand about others, develop a real relationship with one another. Where we are not worried about the things we can't change, but work on the things we can in our communities.

I have been trying to keep up on the president's different ways he has been trying to stop this caving in of our economy, he is using the stimulus bill, trying to increase education spending, trying to focus on the war, etc. There are so many things that we are trying to do as a nation. The hard thing is how can we turn around a ship so big, we have already started on a path that lead us to greed, and now we are slowly trying to change the minds and hearts of our people, moreover the people who have had power and control in our nation for so long. I just hope that in the end that the United States will be open to this type of change, which means giving up some things that we have had for a long time. We have been a "I" centered nation, what can we do for me?? Now it seems it is time to change and think what we can do for us. Our children will have to deal with these issues down the line--I just wonder if we all care enough about ALL of the children to do something.

Just needed a little break from my Article Review...

It's Sunday evening...I do dream frequently of a relaxing weekend at the beach sipping on a pina colada and not having a care in the world...then a stench reaches my nose and brings me back to reality. I have a diaper to change, a husband to love, homework to do, never-ending dishes in the sink, and a load of laundry that is piled higher than Mount Everest. It's the way I enjoy my weekends, not to say that I don't cherish every minute of it, because I do. It's the time I get to laugh with Maddox & Randy and take walks outside, just enjoy being with each other. I wouldn't trade it for anything...well..if you catch me at the right time I may tell you something different.

Thanksgiving is coming up soon. We stuff ourselves full of a big turkey and enjoy time with the family. Love the idea of that, it's the only time of the year I can get away with my emotional eating binges. This year will be one to write about because we are driving up to Long Island, NY. It's the road trips you read about in your family book, the one where everyone ran in to a mishap and something unbelievable happened. Yet I am scared to say the story will be written about us three...and who knows what adventures lay ahead. If I had only given in to Randy and bought those expensive airplane tickets...we might have skipped out on all the fun. Who wants to rehash old arguments anyways, we are driving to NY, car seat and all.

The best thing about this is that everyone is going to be there...Mom, Wes, Brian, Grandma, Aunt Naomi, Uncle David, Sasha, and the talented and wonderful Lily. The anticipation of seeing my family is just making me full of excited energy...I have forgone my family for so long and now that I am grown with a family of my own never more have I realized the importance of family. Uncle Josh is not with us this year and the whole trip from the minute we leave until the minute we get back he will be on my mind. We need to make this a great Thanksgiving for him...especially make good food. He would love that...

I have a few more points to discuss on my article review on "Frequency Characteristics of American Sign Language". Most of you who are reading this might think nothing of this but to me I feel like I have unlocked the key to my language that I have spoken for years but now understand more of it than I have ever known.(Cheesy I know) Although these research articles are so condensed full of verbiage that just trying to wade through the thick bog of words makes you lost at times. It's hard work but anything worth anything in this world is hard work. We just got to fight through it...so instead of me PROCRASTINATING on my blog (which I am doing no matter how I can justify it) I will get back to my paper.

PEACE~LOVE~HAPPINESS

Inspirational Quotes Video...just something to uplift you today.